Past Hurt

I can’t remember when exactly was the first time he made me feel ashamed or put his hands on me for the the first time but what I do remember is how I felt…. humiliated, abandoned and useless. Yet I stayed for almost 5 years. Maybe it’s because he always told me how much he loved and wanted me after. 
Wasn’t just the physical abuse there was mental and emotional abuse also. 
I was made to do things to him and let him do things to me. If I didn’t do them or let him do them he would grab my head, grab me around the throat, grab my legs and pinch, he would turn his class ring around and smack me in the back of the head or on the knee. Places where I could keep it covered up where nobody could see.
This all happened in public places where anybody could see… Greyhound bus, a public swimming pool, the backseat of my moms car, the school auditorium before school would start. He would tell me I was never good enough and that I should watch porn so I would learn something. 
This all started when I was 14 years old

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